Podcast Show Notes:
Dear Songwriter,
I was called a fraud.
I was speaking with an aspiring songwriter back in the spring via Instagram DMs, and she DMed me the following:
"You are such a fraud LOL. A person who actually feels things can seek that out from a mile away with you. Have fun with that. Those who can't do teach."
Instead of getting mad, feeling hurt, or attacking her back, I decided to turn this into a teachable moment for ALL songwriters that are experiencing similar frustrations as her. In this episode, I’m going to sharing an open letter that I wrote to "Ashley," (the name we'll go with for now) in response to everything that went down:
Dear Ashley,
I can hear the passion in your voice. The way you speak about the songs you’re writing as well as your plans to release them - it inspires me greatly. I can hear how badly you want this.
I can also hear your pain, which is a good thing. The way you’re describing your struggles as it relates to songwriting, and your journey with music in general, speaks to your character and self-awareness. We all have struggles, we all have a lot to learn, and those who claim that they don’t, and aren’t willing to face that reality, will never grow. That is not the case for you, which gives you a clear advantage.
I can also hear your frustration, and I’ve absolutely been there. It’s confusing - why can these other people who you may personally know, or who you just follow on social media, see success with their music? What do they know that you don’t? Who do they know who you don’t? I know what it’s like to feel like you’re just as talented as that person who is playing the big stages and going on world tours, but for some reason they’re there, and you’re not. It seems strange, and even unfair. And I know you might be thinking to yourself, why not me. Like I said, I’ve been there.
While I do empathize with all of the above, I assure you that lashing out at me, or others around you, is NOT the answer. And here’s why:
You don’t know me or my story, or anyone else’s. You have no idea what it took these people to get to this place where they can do what they love every single day, and I promise you, it did not happen overnight.
And to bring down those people, with your words, actions, or whatever else, will only hurt your progress. The music world is a small one, at the end of the day, so in trying to put down others, or make excuses for why someone else has achieved something that you haven’t, will sabotage any chance you have of moving forward. Simply put, no one will want to work with you, or help you.
And lastly, by defaulting to blame, judgment, and accusations, you’re expending what leftover energy you have from long days at work, school, or whatever else you may have going on, on something that ultimately will lead to nowhere.
So, Ashley, I want to give you three steps that you can take today to help you tune out the noise and negativity that’s keeping you from making that leap with your music, so that you can lock into a new mindset, and ultimately get closer to where you’re looking to go.
Step 1: Figure out what you need to finish next. Don’t worry about the long-term goals, or even short-term goals. What is something that’s in front of you that you can control, that you can finish in the next couple of weeks? Is it a rough demo? Is it production for a song? Figure out what that is.
Step 2: Come up with three to five clear tasks to get to that finished product - whatever that may be. Carry out these tasks.
Step 3: Once you’ve successfully completed the first two steps, take stock of what you now have, and come up with a list of questions you have about what to do next - write them down.
Step 4: Find someone who can answer those questions. Someone who has been to where you’re looking to get to. Pay them for these answers if you need to. It will be worth it.
I am rooting for you, Ashley, we all are. You have just as much of a right as any of us to express yourself through this amazing creative outlet that is songwriting, and make music your life. There are people out there who need to hear it, and you owe it to yourself, and to your future fans, to put your ego aside, lay down the excuses, and get to work.
The only failure would be to not see this through, and if you continue on this path of blame-shifting and victim-claiming, you will end up there.
So I encourage you to take control of the situation and take the steps that I’ve outlined above, today. Stop picturing the destination, stop fantasizing about a different world, and grab the opportunities that are in front of you.
I’m so happy that you came into my orbit, and I wish you nothing but success in your songwriting and musical journey. Thank you for the conversation, and allowing me the opportunity to create this teachable moment.
Sincerely,
Connor
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